This one is probably going to be pretty short due to a series of unfortunate events, leading me to only have a few minutes to write. But I want to quickly talk about the law-of-attraction. It is something that I believe in very deeply.
See, I believe in the universe. I believe that the universe is the ultimate higher power. That could be its own blog, so let me try and stick to attraction.
I think that the law-of-attraction works in many ways. The first being, the way you treat people is the kind of treatment you attract back to yourself. This goes right along with the thing we all heard growing up that goes, “Treat others how you want to be treated.” But I think it’s deeper than that. I believe that the kind of energy you put out into the world whether it is being lazy, being sad, being mean etc. is going to come back at you like a boomerang in some degree.
This also goes for the kind of people you surround yourself with. You could be the most positive person in the world, but if you are surrounding yourself with negative people, you will inevitably become a negative person.
The big one that I spend most of my time thinking about is goals. For example, I want to be a writer—a published writer. Every day I am reading something my favorite authors have posted, listening to interviews or podcasts of theirs, or simply scrolling through their social media. However you look at it, I am trying to put myself into their shoes. I’m trying to learn as much as I can from them. I have spent hours reading Veronica Roth’s old blog posts. I have spent even more hours listening to Elizabeth Gilbert speak, and even more hours listening to her most recent book Big Magic on repeat; currently for the 11th time.
However, it isn’t just going to take me admiring my favorite authors work for me to become a writer. Sure, that helps. But it’s going to take me actually working. Working and writing my ass off. I have to produce as many words as I can in order to become a better writer, which in turn will hopefully get me published someday.
Getting published is the ultimate goal, but in reality, I’m writing because it’s the only thing that brings me infinite peace within myself. I’m thankful every day that I found that at such a young age. I enjoy the hours sitting at my computer typing words. I enjoy the hours sitting at my computer staring at a blank page. The ultimate victory is that I enjoy it.
I think that in a way I set myself up to love writing. Back when I spent more time reading my favorite authors work than I did writing my own—I was learning. I was like a sponge, and I took in every little thing they said and thought about it for myself. I came to my own conclusion that this crazy idea of a blank page becoming 300 pages full of the impossible was actually something to be thankful for.
A lot of creative people feel like their art is a burden. The idea of having to write those 300 pages is torture, it’s the last thing they would like to be doing, but they will suffer through it for the good of the arts. Those same people tend to say that their art is killing them.
So for me as a kid, growing up trying to navigate through mental illness, I found Veronica Roth specifically, and I clung to her words. I allowed every blog I read to be my beacon of hope in the darkest of times. I spent days in my room going through every single one of her posts, studying them, and soaking every ounce of them in. I saw myself in her, and I used that as motivation to grow.
I found out that she was going to be in Lansing on a book tour. I begged everyone and anyone to take me and luckily my dad didn’t have to work that day. I cannot express my level of excitement knowing that I was about to see the person who gave me so much hope, live in person.
When we first go to the book store, the employees were passing around blank pieces of paper for us to write any questions we had for her on, and then put them in a jar where she would be choosing ten to answer. My question was, “Do you have any advice for young writers who struggle with anxiety?” I wrote that down with zero hope that anything would come of it—I’d never had the best luck.
She came out and talked for a while. Towards the end she started to answer the questions she had chosen. Around the seventh one, I heard her say my name. I remember my entire body freezing for a split second before I looked up at my dad in awe. Veronica Roth had just said my name. She proceeded to answer my question and I received a singed poster. In the moment I didn’t even register her response to my question. It wasn’t until a few weeks later when they released the video on Youtube that I was able to take it all in.
Obviously, to her, all she did was say my name and answer my question. But to me? That was the turning point where I realized I was more than capable of being a part of that club. The club that includes all of my favorite authors.
Coming back to the law-of-attraction—that is just one example I have of putting myself out there with the idea that I will receive something in return, and eventually getting it. I try my best to live by this idea. Obviously I don’t always succeed, but no one in the history of the world always succeeds.
Now, knowing that there is a tiny, TINY, chance that she will ever see this, I still want to put it out there.
Veronica Roth gave me hope when I didn’t think there was any left in my world. Thank you for helping me occupy those sleepless nights with your blogs, something that I learned was way more interesting than staring at my ceiling. Without even realizing it you changed my way of thinking to a more positive one.
I still go back and read your blogs three years later, just to remind myself why I chose this path. To remind myself how badly I want this for myself. And ultimately to remind myself why it is I enjoy the work so much.
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you, Veronica Roth.