feeling sorry for yourself

Feeling sorry for yourself is something that every person has experienced at some point. Sorry about the way your life is going: the way you look, the way you eat, the way you react; sorry about your attitude, your job, your relationship— the possibilities are really endless. But why? Why do we feel sorry for ourselves? I know just yesterday I posted a blog about how I was begging to not be the way I was, I was begging not to have to deal with the things I deal with anymore.

Sure, I felt sorry for myself. I didn’t want to constantly have those kinds of thoughts rushing through my head everyday, messing with every second of my life. But the difference is, I did something about it. I was willing to fight to get better. Most people who are down on themselves want someone else to do the work for them. It takes hard work to be happy and stay happy. It’s so much easier to sit in the dark and blame everything else for your problems.

If you never try to get better, you never fail— if you never fail, you never grow, you never learn, and you definitely never succeed.

Honestly, feeling sorry for yourself but not willing to put in the work to get to a brighter place is pretty shocking to me. I’m not saying I’ve never been that way. I have definitely had my turn at that. But eventually, after I’m out of those dark places, I wonder why in the hell I was so okay sitting there, if I could be standing over here in the light.
Getting better is never easy, or fun. It’s rough. You will have to take yourself out of your comfort zone and learn to look at things on a different level.

A few weeks ago when I experienced the whole candle thing in yesterdays blog, I took up meditation— mindfulness meditation, to be specific. I always laughed at the thought that people actually use that as a way to stay present. But like I’d mentioned yesterday, I was willing to do anything. So I downloaded an app I heard about and sat down to try it after my daily workout. This app gave me a seven-day trial called, 7 Days of Mindfulness. I pushed play on the first day and fifteen minutes later I felt numb. Numb in a good way. The kind of numb that makes me wonder why I’d spent my entire life laughing at this.

I used the app everyday for the next seven-days. To say my attitude completely did a 180 would be an understatement. My life completely slowed down. I didn’t react as fast to things. I experienced things that would have previously made me angry with a new sense of calm. I just felt different. I felt good. I ended up spending $60 dollars to buy that app, I continue to use it everyday. That week is one I think I’ll remember forever as a turning point in my life. I felt sorry for myself, I lived in it for a while, I begged for change, then I made change happen myself.

That’s something that I think people don’t realize. When you ask for something in your life, it doesn’t just happen. You have to work for it, cry for it, bleed for it, and sacrifice for it. The only way something in your life is going to get better or worse comes strictly from how much you’re willing to do for yourself.

Your life is what you make of it, and we all know that time doesn’t slow down for anyone. Don’t waste time doing nothing when you could have been bettering yourself. The world is literally full of infinite possibilities, and you are capable of them all. It comes down to whether or not you’re willing to stop your moping dead in its tracks, and get to work.

-Kelsi

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