mystery path

When I decided to leave school in the middle of junior year, in the middle of basketball season, so I could work ahead and finish early— I made the decision that I was no longer going to spend my life doing the things I don’t like. I decided I wasn’t going to wake up everyday miserable anymore. And school was doing that to me, so I took action. And now that I’ve been graduated for almost five months now, I’m in a better place than I have ever been.

Getting to this point wasn’t easy though. It took a lot of self-awareness and courage to know what I wanted and then go after it. When I started bringing it up to people, they were shocked. The majority of them thought I was making a mistake, and they couldn’t believe my parents were allowing me to decide this for myself.

Every person that judged my decision was a person who didn’t know what I was going through every second of every day. It was easy for them to judge. They were continuing to compare me to the other kids in school, since I hadn’t ever taken the normal path. What was even more difficult for them was that I was the first to do this. I do not know any other person who did high school they way I did. I’m proud of that.

With my OCD it’s always been a lot easier for me to keep in touch with how I’m feeling— sometimes too in touch. So being self-aware has never been a problem for me. That’s why when I knew that generic kind of learning wasn’t for me, I did what I had to in order to get out as fast as possible. And it wasn’t as easy as almost everyone thought.

Online schooling is not an escape or an easy way out of high school… Sure everyone does it for different reasons. But I did it knowing that if I wanted to graduate early I was going to have to work harder there than I did in the classroom. So I did it. I graduated nine months before I was supposed to— surprising every person that doubted me.

Ever since I made that decision to completely change my life a little over a year ago— that decision to not spend my time doing things I don’t want to do, and having the control to take myself out of those situations— I’m a completely different person.

To others, my path may seem really rocky, and so dense with fog I can’t even see what’s ahead; but that’s my path. I’m very grateful I am the way I am. I’m grateful I don’t follow the concrete road most kids my age seem to be on.

I question myself everyday, wondering what I’m going to do with my life. I’m not worried about it though. I’m not worried about rushing into anything. I’m in a good spot right now, and things will work out the way they are supposed to, just like they always have.

The Universe has never let me down. When it gives me even the slightest sign, I will work my ass off to complete what I know I’m meant to. Right now, waking up everyday and knowing that I’m going to be okay, is all I need.

People will continue to judge you no matter what you do. They will say crazy things just because you aren’t doing what they think is right. If you’re smart enough, you’ll be able to see that there is no right path in life— there is a vanilla path millions follow because they don’t have the courage to veer off and take the path that is theirs, and there is a mystery path, a path you will never be lucky enough to walk down unless you have strength. And the mystery path is YOUR path; the path that leads you to a life of infinite possibilities; infinite challenges; infinite happiness; infinite heartbreak; infinite courage— it leads you to the fullest life you could ever possibly have. And that is the path I will continue to walk down. Because, damn… That sounds fun.

-Kelsi

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s