influence

I’m a strong believer that we become who we surround ourselves with. We are sometimes blind to the people around us, and don’t see the impact they have on our life. The small changes in our personality that add up to us becoming a completely different person.

It’s really easy to lose touch of who we truly are. It’s easy to begin to blend into the world around us. The problem is, it takes work to continue to be ourselves everyday and fight off the expectations of society. Many people don’t have that fight. You shouldn’t be faulted for being afraid to be yourself, though. You grew up in a world where a picture perfect illusion of what you are supposed to look like is thrown in your face everywhere you go. It’s hard to grasp the reality that there is no right way to look, or right way to be.

The people around you play a big part in how you do grasp this. They play a part in what you think is right or wrong, pretty or not, smart choice or stupid choice, and yes or no.

It’s tricky to go out of your comfort zone and find people whose thinking fits with yours— it’s scary. And you may come to a point where you can’t seem to find anyone who shares your views, so you settle for the people you already have around you… Not that they are bad people—sometimes they can be— but for the most part, you just don’t see things the way they do, and hanging out with them starts to blur your vision of how you truly feel. And that’s very confusing.

It’s very possible to shield yourself from changing, but it’s very hard. If you are around people who have no motivation to do anything with their lives, that will eventually rub off on you to a certain level. Same goes for if you are surrounded by highly motivated people, that will just push you forward and give you confidence for yourself in your own life.

Personally, I’d rather have no one, than have someone who doesn’t care about anything. There’s been a few times where I’ve distanced myself from people who I could tell were having a negative affect on me. Not all of them were bad or unmotivated people, but I felt like they were dragging me down in a time where I needed more than anything to be up. This idea is a huge part of the reason I graduated early.

You really are in control of who you let into your life. Truth be told, you may have to take extraordinary measures to get out of certain situations, but in the end they are worth it. Sometimes you may even look like a jackass in the pursuit of positive and healthy relationships, that’s okay too.

It doesn’t matter what you’re doing, how much it costs, where you are, the time of day, nothing— the only thing that matters is the people you are spending these times with. When souls just mix, any situation can be made good. But be patient, you will eventually find someone or multiple someones who you can call home.

The key is to stay true to yourself in times where you are unsure; in times where the people around you aren’t the kind of people you want around you. Don’t succumb to their constant effort to change you. It is possible to have a relationship with someone completely opposite of you without taking on their bad qualities.

In your life you will have times where you have to surrender a piece of yourself in order to help someone else heal. This is okay, just don’t lose too much of yourself in the process. Sacrifices can be necessary at times. The amount of yourself you choose to keep for you and only you, is up to you. But understand, we sometimes can’t save the people we want to save.

You hold all the power of YOU— no one else. If someone has a bad influence on you, it is your choice to continue to let them influence you. If someone has a good influence on you, continue to let them be with you. Over some time you will find people worth holding onto. You will find that they compliment you and you compliment them just as well. Once you do find this—and I promise, you will find it with many people throughout your life— keep it. One of the best ways to improve yourself is to surround yourself with people also looking to improve themselves. That’s a simple way to keep yourself ahead in life.

-Kelsi

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