I find it funny how people think they can get away with treating you so poorly to a point of you finally snapping, which then leaves them shocked that you would ever treat them that way— especially when they’ve been treating you even worse, long enough for you to snap.
Personally, I’ve always been a very outspoken person. I’ve never been slow to let someone know how I feel. And I always defend myself if I’m being treated in a way that needs defending.
Some people are unable to see the way their actions are having an impact on the relationships around them— or they are just unwilling to see it. This means that they usually continue to treat the people around them like shit. And, eventually, the people being treated this way are going to snap. They are going to come to a point of not caring if they ever see or talk to the person treating them this way again.
Many would disagree with this. They may say you shouldn’t fight fire with fire, or that now you’re just giving this person a reason to continue and treat you poorly. I don’t see it that way. Every person has a breaking point. And I will be the first to say how exhausting it is to treat someone like nothing is wrong, when everything is wrong.
People need to know when they are hurting you. They need to know when they are being unreasonable, and selfish. They need to know that you won’t have small talk with them like nothing is wrong. And as a person who has been hurt, you don’t have to justify to them why you feel the way you do. If they truly have no idea that they are treating you like a piece of trash, that’s something they need to go back and reflect on. You aren’t crazy, and you’re feelings are valid. If you say they are hurting you, it isn’t their place to say they haven’t.
I’ve come across people who don’t see their actions as wrong. I’ve come to a point with some where I don’t even feel the need to look in their direction, because I’m so sick of being treated poorly by them. I won’t fall for the nice act anymore. I won’t allow myself to be pulled down that hole again— because in the end, even though I’ve been the one thrown in the dirt, they still find away to play the victim and make me feel like shit.
So, I just want to say that if you are a person constantly being pushed down by someone else— you don’t have to take it anymore. I don’t care how closely connected that person is to you, your family, or your friends. If they are having a negative affect on YOUR well-being, cut them out. If they’ve hurt you so bad that you feel like you don’t even belong— screw them. It’s okay to say screw them. You don’t have to put on a face and act like everything is okay when it isn’t.
Ultimately… Do what’s best for you. Don’t feel like you have to be nice to them, when every-second you are is killing you a little more inside. We aren’t here to be fake. We are here to be our best selves and live our best lives. If someone is pulling you further behind from achieving that for yourself, you don’t need them anymore. And you don’t need to let anyone make you feel like you should keep them in your life. That isn’t their call— it’s yours.
Also, don’t feel bad if you have snapped and maybe been harsh. You aren’t a punching bag and you don’t have to just sit there and take it. Tell them how you feel and don’t hold back just to protect their feelings. They pushed you to this point, so if there comes a time to defend yourself, do it. And let them know that you won’t continue to just play dumb. Sticking up for yourself doesn’t mean they will stop, but it does let them know that you’re aware of the way they are treating you, and you won’t just let it slide anymore. And if that makes them think you’re a bad person. Good. They don’t deserve to know the real you anyway. Let them pick and choose what they want from your life and have their own opinion. You don’t owe them anything, especially the privilege to know the true person you are.