go ahead, look over my shoulder

You’re always going to have someone looking over your shoulder. That’s something I’ve been struggling to accept lately. Sometimes they will be looking over your shoulder in genuine concern and other times it will be out of spite or anger. And a lot of the time you may not be able to tell the difference. My thing is I don’t want anyone looking over my shoulder. I don’t want anyone worried about me. I don’t want anyone asking what my next step is.

I just had a realization while writing the last paragraph… The reason I don’t like anyone asking what my next step is, is because I don’t know what my next step is. The only thing I know is that I wake up everyday and write for a while, then I workout. I drive my brother around and I stay to myself. I don’t bother anyone else. So I guess it bothers me when people are all up in my business. Especially if I know their intentions aren’t good.

I guess you just have to learn how to live your life knowing there is always going to be at least one person looking to hold you back. So you have to do everything in your power to prove them wrong. Show them that you are on the right path. Follow your passions and don’t worry about the consequences of forcing happiness into your life. After all, maybe having someone to prove wrong is a good thing. Having that much more motivation to be who you want to be, and do what you want to do can only help if you look at it the right way.

Just don’t let the negative ones overshadow the people who actually do care for you. Try not to get annoyed at their constant questions. If you do get annoyed, try not to show them because you’ll always be able to tell if the questions are genuine.

Pursue whatever the hell you want and let people judge. The ones who are constantly in your business finding fault in everything you do are the ones who wish they had the same courage you do; so take it as a compliment. Most people don’t have the strength to constantly feel like they aren’t enough, but continue to fight for what they want anyway. Everything you are doing to keep your head above water is enough. Everything you are doing that pushes you closer to your dream is enough. Everything you are doing that puts a smile on your face, or someone else’s is enough. Continue to be enough. What you think is only enough may come off as: “how in the hell are they doing that?” to others.

This whole thing was really just a reminder to myself, but I hope it makes others take a step back and think about it as well.

Also… my blogs have been pretty short the past few days. I’m going to talk about why tomorrow.

-Kelsi

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