your walk

This feels weird. It feels weird knowing I didn’t post yesterday, after like ninety-straight-days (??) of posting. It’s what I needed. I was sick the last two days and left my bed only a few times. I’ve been inside my head even more than usual, due to the lack of activity- so that’s been fun. It seems like hundreds of ideas for different blogs and stories I could write have crossed my mind just in these last two days. They have usually struck me just as I’m about to fall asleep, finally able to get comfortable after hours of not being comfortable—for the sake of not grossing you out. I refused to get up and write them down because there was no way I could risk moving and losing a chance to finally sleep. Luckily, I have a pretty good idea of what most of them were.

More than a few people asked me why I would willingly break my streak of posting; I had to at least say something on here. If you read my blog from two days ago—which was literally just a quote and me telling you I was sick—you’d know that I felt that way as well. I had to post something. Anything. Wednesday night I was up all night sick, so I slept most of the day yesterday. And I was feeling better as the day progressed. I spent every moment that I was awake wondering if I should just force out another blog- a quote, a picture, just something to say I hadn’t broken my streak. I eventually decided that it didn’t matter. I was allowed to miss one day. What significance did this streak hold over me? I knew I would just start fresh tomorrow, not turning one missed day into five. I didn’t want to post something I wasn’t proud of, again. So that’s exactly what I did; I skipped yesterday and chose to rest. Allowing myself to get better because I have things I need to do, and being sick with the stomach flu had put a complete halt to those things. My brother even had to miss his district basketball game because he was sick too.

I’m happy I took the day off. It was a reality check for me- a weird understanding as to what I’ve actually been accomplishing these last few months on this blog. The fact that people noticed and cared that I was missing a day meant something. I know that I have bigger projects started in regard to my writing, but I’m going to keep at this blog everyday. It means the world to me and it’s become a part of my daily routine.

My message for you today is: do what feels right to you, not what looks right to them.  You know better than anyone else what you’re feeling. If you need a day to sit and stare at a wall- stare away. If you want to drop everything and just sit outside listening to the sounds- they are always there waiting. You do whatever it is you need to do. There’s going to be times when your head loses sight of the direction you’re meant to be heading; but do your best to keep your heart centered on the path that feels right. Because no matter which way your head may be pulling you, your heart will always stand as a compass pointing you back towards your walk.

-Kelsi

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