We underestimate the power our eyes hold. They are the key to how we truly feel and the absolute only thing that will always reveal the truth. Most people don’t realize this. If you’re really good at reading others, you don’t even need eyes to tell you something’s bothering someone—but they are definitely the key in seeing whether your suspicions are correct.
When you’re not the happiest but you still force yourself to fake a smile, notice that you also do your best to make less eye contact with others. It’s instinct. When a smile is real, it comes from your eyes. Obviously, if you’re faking it, that light usually coming from your eyes won’t be there. And I’m not trying to say it’s not right to hide your sadness. Sometimes we have to. Other times we don’t have to, but do it anyway to avoid being vulnerable. After a while it just becomes habit, and you become afraid to show any real emotion. It even becomes hard to tell what your real emotions are anymore.
The mistake I made/make is not finding someone I could talk to completely. I wouldn’t open all the way up to anyone; I still don’t. Because I’ve spent so many years in my own head, I’m afraid to let it all out. I also don’t feel comfortable enough with anyone to tell them anything to begin with. And I’m afraid that if I do tell someone, I’ll risk hurting them, or burdening them with my problems. If you have someone, though, open up. Someone you trust with your entire heart. Take advantage of their presence and their concern. I know from holding it all in, that letting it all go would feel a lot better. And, personally, it’s okay that I don’t feel comfortable talking to anyone about everything. I’ve made it. I’m still here and still going. So if you’re in the same boat as me: welcome. In reality, we are all in this together. Just knowing that you’re not alone is a huge help.
If you ever come across someone whose eyes aren’t as bright as the smile they are trying to fake, just talk to them. It doesn’t have to be about what’s taking the light away. Just engage in a genuine conversation about anything. If they want to talk, they’ll talk. But don’t push them. Sometimes all it takes is letting someone know you’re truly interested in them to brighten their mood even the slightest. We all need a little help every once-in-a-while. Don’t be ashamed for having a beating heart.