it’s heavy

It’s all so heavy. The weight continues to stack up. My neck hurts and my shoulders shake, despite the strength they’ve been forced to develop over the years. You see, I haven’t exactly been completely transparent with you. I drill positivity through these blogs, I try and throw hope your direction every chance I get. But it’s all so heavy. There is so much bad in this world; so much drama, so much hate. Being good isn’t exactly easy when people are constantly coming at you, looking to tear you down. Good people aren’t looking for easy, though. They are looking for good: good food, good energy, good books, good music, other good people… good.

Thick skin is a necessity for good people—kind people. Speaking of kindness: kindness is so underrated. It doesn’t get the credit it deserves. Society sees kindness as some sort of weakness. You need to be a shark if you want to make it in this world. I call bull. If you really want to thrive, be kind. It’s simple. It’s selfless. It’s selfish (in a good way). It’s empowering. It’s attractive. It’s rare. It’s powerful. It’s good. Frankly, it’s something we all need to work on—I know I need to. If you think you’re already a kind person, I promise you there is room for improvement; there always is.

You are in constant danger of falling into a trap of negativity. The option to be that person is always a card you have in your hand. Don’t trick yourself into believing that you can do it once or twice and then stop. You will become addicted. Negativity is addicting. It’s easier than positivity. And that’s because negativity is the majority. It’s always easier to be follower. It’s never fun to be the person always having everyone else’s back, listening to everyone else’s problems, or being someone else’s punching bag. It isn’t easier to be a person trusted with others secrets, while living in a world full of people looking for secrets that aren’t theirs to tell.

I catch myself looking at that card in my hand everyday. I don’t ever play it, but I definitely let it get to me sometimes. We all do. But, you know, I pride myself in being a person others trust their secrets with. I love knowing others look to me for advice or come to me when they need someone to talk to. Being that person, no matter how exhausting—and sometimes frustrating—it may be, it’s worth it. It’s hard to accept that there’s going to be people who see those qualities in you, and use them to their advantage. People who you thought were your genuine friends, until you finally notice that you are constantly picking them up, while they see you down and just leave you there.

I think we all know that in this world bad gets way more attention than good. People flock to bad news that companies make millions off of. We see something terrible happening in public, and our first response is to pull our phones out and record it (most peoples first response). Like what? That makes no sense. Why wouldn’t your first instinct be to help stop the situation? Instead you’re going to use it for a viral video, and fifteen-seconds of fame? Before you even have this thought, let me clear it up for you: no, it’s not just teenagers—or millennials—who do this… it’s ALL types of people. This disease doesn’t discriminate.

So, yeah. It’s very heavy. And I haven’t been honest about how hard it is to try and be positive in all of these blogs. I’m struggling with so much in my own head everyday. Last night I held a basketball and cried for two-hours; and I was going to write about that today. But, no, I can’t do that. I have to continue my fight to grow in the hard times. That’s not to say you aren’t supposed to struggle, or that you’re supposed to ignore the hard times. Absolutely not. Deal with the hard times, then reflect positivity in a different way. You have to be honest about your struggles if you want to gain anything from them. I felt that I didn’t want to relive last night by finding a way to write about it on here. I dealt with it, now I’m here to tell you that dealing with ALL the negativity—yours, the worlds, your friends, your family—is hard. But it’s necessary. Don’t let yourself surrender to the masses of negativity and decide you have to live within it. You can rise above the majority and live in a place of peace. A place full of people who deal with it, learn from it, and move on from it. A place where the only direction that exists is up, and we are all gladly working hard to go that way.

-Kelsi

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