At 9:40pm last night I suddenly realized I hadn’t posted a blog for the day. The first reaction I had was my stomach dropping. Then, I thought about it and realized it was okay. 

I’ve always known that I have a lot to say. Recently, however, I’m starting to realize how much more there is than I had originally been thinking. The reason for that: I’m learning knew things–I’m experiencing knew things. This is all a good sign. Regardless if all the things I’m experiencing are good or bad, they are experiences. 

Someone who I’ve admired for a while now is, Yousef Erakat (most know him as FouseyTube). He’s a prime example of living a life and dealing with things as they come at you. People may not always agree with how he does things…he may not always agree with how he does things. But he does them. And he always comes back stronger than he originally was. 

He runs two YouTube channels with millions of subscribers–one of those channels being a vlog channel. He posts most frequently on that one. If you’ve watched him for a long time, you know that he comes in and out of the YouTube world. Every year he seems to disappear for a bit. From what I’ve gathered about him, he suffers from mental illness; depression more specifically. I understand depression more than I’d like to admit. So, when he leaves for months at a time and I see people questioning his loyalty to the fan base he’s developed, I feel for him. I don’t pity him, I just understand him. I understand what it’s like to disappear for a time and get lost within your own world. 

The problem with being an internet creator is dealing with a constant pressure to always be positive. Yousef had received a lot of hate for not caring about that pressure, and just showing his true colors. He speaks the truth and he has a lot of good to say. That good just gets overshadowed by the hate he receives for a reason I don’t understand. When Yousef talks, I relate to him. When he describes his depression or his addictions I feel like I understand him on some weird level. I don’t question his loyalty to his fans; I question their loyalty. I question their ability to see the bigger picture of what Yousef is truly going through. I question why they can’t accept that we all go through shit, and that it needs to be handled in a unique way. 

So Yousef:

Whatever it is you are feeling or doing, it’s okay. You’re dealing with it. And within that process, you’re inspiring others to deal with their shit too. I see the good soul you have, I see myself in you, and feel the loneliness I know you do. I see the light in your eyes when you talk about being a motivational speaker, or when you are giving some sort of motivation through a tweet or video. Even when you say you aren’t going to give us some speach, I still take something positive away from you. I respect how you handle yourself. I respect how you handle your mental illness. I understand that it’s not easy–trust me on that. I know what it’s like to be judged for the ways I handle my mental illness; to be criticized and picked apart. I know the hate is a lot and even in the presence of millions you still feel like you’re the only one. You’re not. So many of us are here with you. Let’s continue helping each other? 

This isn’t a fan letter, or a reach to try and get his attention. This is simply a reminder to all of you, that everyone is going through something. Everyone deals with that something in a different way. And some of us deal with that something in front of millions of eyes. Try to put yourself in someone else’s shoes before you say their actions are wrong. Who are you to say they are wrong? We all have a different idea of what’s right or what’s wrong. What’s right to you may be wrong to someone else–vice versa. There is no rule book to life, no path better than another. We are all humans who deserve respect, understanding and LOVE. 

-Kelsi, bruh bruh. 

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