sound.color.smell

It’s the loudest thing I’ve ever heard…yet, somehow, still so quiet. It’s the only thing in the world that brings me to my knees in pain, squeezing a hand over each ear.  It’s impossible to stop—music, talking, reading, writing, drawing, exercising, sleeping—all useless distractions for this thing.

Yes, it seems that I’m describing a sound. But, can that be true if it’s also the most beautiful thing I’ve ever laid eyes on? Imagine every color you love slowly fade between one another in an infinite cycle. You need to reach out and touch that color. The glass stopping your fingertips just short of the beauty ALWAYS comes as a shock. You’ve done everything necessary for the glass to be removed and your path cleared; at least, you always think you’ve done enough to break the clear wall. I guess, between the deafening sounds and the hypnotizing color, it’s hard to keep track of your progress.

Dizzy. Dizzy is how you feel every time you give yourself permission to breathe. The thing you smell is intoxicating…maybe it’s coming from the color behind the glass? You don’t know. You want more than anything to breathe it all in—that intoxication is a feeling you never want to rid yourself of. But, when you only ever get a glimpse—a rare glimpse—it’s hard to be in control. It seems you aren’t the one who decides when that breath is allowed to come after all.

~

This is what it’s like to hear, see, and smell the lives of the people right in front of you. It’s easy to put on a smile and pretend you’re actually experiencing your life. It’s hard to be trapped inside your own head, so alone and confused, having no idea why you can’t just break the damn glass; why you can’t become a part of that deafening sound—the sound of lives being lived; or why you can’t breathe the intoxicating air that you crave so much.

You were just inside the head of lonely person.

-Kelsi

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