i have an addiction

A lot of my blogs are about becoming a better you, and how it’s possible for anyone to be whoever they want to be. I don’t think I’ve ever actually talked about the process of this—I’ve only ever given quick tips/advice. So, I want to tell you a story about the time I fell further down physically than I’d ever been before, and how I built myself out of that hole to now being in the best shape of my life. And I’m still going strong.

Throughout high school, I had multiple injuries that took me out of sports and put me in a boot/cast. My junior year I decided to run cross-country, and I didn’t make it 3 meets. I was told I had another stress fracture and would be out for the season. By the time basketball came around I wasn’t fully healed, but I played anyway. I also wasn’t in the best shape—being that I was in a cast the last 2 months. Anyway, fast-forward and I’m leaving public school to graduate early on my own. The stress of schoolwork and the normal mental illness problems made it hard for me to do anything. I read books, did homework and supported the basketball team. Once summer came around, I only read and did homework. I noticed the weight I was putting on and chose not to pay attention to it. Around August, when I finally graduated, I really started getting down on myself for the weight. I didn’t know how to properly handle it, though. So I waited, continuing to hope it would fix itself. Obviously, it didn’t

The shift in my mind occurred about the same time I started writing again. I forced myself to understand that it was okay to have zero idea what I was doing; I would just figure it out along the way like I had everything else in my life. I don’t need to know what to do, I just need to do—and this is what I continued to tell myself every time I felt unsure. So, I started slowly. I would bike for 30 minutes and lift some weights, or I would run outside for at least 30 minutes and lift after. In the beginning, I never had a plan. I woke up and decided how I was going to workout right there on the spot. But I kept doing it. Everyday. I started seeing results, quiet results only I would notice. However, results are results.

It came to a point where I knew I needed more. I couldn’t be so spontaneous with my workouts; I needed a routine of some sort. I had no idea how to do that, so, instead, I wrote on a piece of paper what I’d do the next day every night before bed. It became a fun habit to keep track of how much water I would drink in a day, and also track my calories. About a month into this process, again, I needed more. I realized how much knowledge I had gained in the nutrition/training/body world just over those last couple of months. The research I’d been doing was endless. Soccer also became a HUGE part of my life and I followed the athletes like crazy—watching their workouts, their meals and pretty much anything else that would help me. A schedule was my next step…so, I opened excel and threw together the workouts/routines I knew and came up with this (please ignore the cursing, that’s just how I talk to myself—it’s all love):


Here is a small piece of everything together…which is actually nowhere near everything:



It’s come to the point where I feel like a day is ruined if I don’t workout. It’s become an addiction. I have gained so much from this journey and even found a new passion. I plan on helping others do the same thing I have, using the techniques I’ve learned. Never did I think I’d come to this point—I’m not complaining, though. This is the best place I’ve ever been and I started from the bottom…my bottom. I PROMISE, you can do it. Whatever it is, you can do it.


5 thoughts on “i have an addiction

  1. I really admire this piece. I had to have scoliosis surgeries throughout high-school, I gained weight in college and tried all sorts of diets. It took me years to start focusing on health. I get what you mean about wanting to workout everyday. This is a really good post!🙂

    Liked by 2 people

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